Saturday, October 25, 2008

How God Feeds Me

How does God feed me, my soul, my spirit?

I spent a week at a college, with students who want nothing but to serve God. Through long, late nights, endless conversations pumped with caffeine, I think I recognize God's Spirit amongst the teachable hearts. They aren't perfect. And they might even be transporting a Gopsel that is lacking. They might be transporting a "white gospel." Still, I'm able to manage my concern over that because of the hopeful, learner type attitudes that are everywhere.

And then I come home. I come home to a weekend, with more college students. (That would be you guys for those of you reading this blog). Hope upon Hope. I had an even more hopeful weekend as the students were honest, insightful, and pushed me to go deep. I hate to admit it, but I often enter those weekends with a bit of fear. By "those" weekends, I mean weekends that we invite others to come into our neighborhood, our home. We often get comments about how crazy we are, or how wrong we are. Not with this group. This group wanted to listen. And even if they didn't agree with everything, they were willing to let God speak into what they should take away from the time. There was love, tears, stories. Stories of the poor as real people. One person even said that homelessness lost its "romantic, wonderer like Jesus type feel" That's been my prayer for the past two months. My prayer was, "God, we talk about the poor so much, but do we romanticize their plight and pain? When we host students are we just exposing them enough to do more harm than good?" The answer is no. And I can say that because of how beautifully this group gave of their heart and how much they pushed me toward holiness.

And now, downstairs we have another group. And I'm remembering the pain again. The pain of comments tainted with such racism. The pain of being told we're wrong and there isn't any problem. The pain of being told this in our own home.

But I don't remain in hopelessness. I go back to last weekend. I go back to the graffiti wall that we kept up:) And I say to God, "I trust you more than myself. I give over my need to fix the church to you, and I trust you to fill me with your love, grace, and justice."

1 comment:

Johnny said...

speaking of hope:
14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family[a] in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.